Just Diagnosed

How to deal with pity!

I remember one of the first thoughts that crossed my mind when I learned I had breast cancer was how to avoid the pity and sad eyes from people in my community. I decided the best way to deal with it was to tell my close family and friends and try to keep the news from others as much as possible. This was my personal way of doing it. Ironically, I am now openly writing about my experience for all the world to see!

Having gone through the experience and come out the other side, I have a few tips based on my personal experience on how to deal with others and the way they may react to the news.

The first thing to keep in mind, is that people mean well despite their sometimes ridiculous questions or comments. Because every woman reacts and deals with cancer in her own way, it is up to you to decide whom you should tell, and how much information you choose to share. There are no right or wrong answers here and you don't need to apologize to anyone.

Go easy on yourself. If you don't immediately return a phone call or send a thank you note, your friends will understand. If they don't, then they don't have the slightest idea as to what you are going through.

Don't be afraid to tell someone that they are meddling too much or providing too much advice. You are capable of asking for advice if you need it. You can decide whose advice you want. You'll probably have one or two true confidants whom who trust and share thoughts with.

Finally, worry about yourself. This may sound selfish but right now you need to devote all of your energy to getting healthy.

updated 1 year ago